When I first got on the plane to Europe, I was just happy to be getting out of the country and away from the classroom. With minimal expectations, I felt that I was prepared for whatever this Berlin program wanted to throw at me. I would explore the themes of walls, borders and identity in the city like the program instructed, participate in mental exercises to see the city as a performance and finish my writing assignments on time. Those were my goals and I was prepared for the worst, because truthfully… as interesting as Germany was in my mind, I wasn’t sure what Berlin could offer for me.
What met me in Berlin and what I experienced in Istanbul, was more than I could ask for. I was not prepared for the new perspectives I gained looking at Germany face to face, existing in its space and absorbing in its history and culture. Neither was I prepared to fall so hard for the city of Istanbul. Like a love affair, it still stirs constantly in the back of my mind and lingers in my dreams.
In general, my trip this past summer included pre-program backpacking through Eastern Europe (Prague, Vienna, Budapest, Warsaw, Krakow), post-program visits to Northern Europe (Stockholm, Copenhagen) and an exploration of the middle east (Israel, Jordan, Egypt). It was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. With the combination of ancient history, 20th century history and the present day social and political events occurring right before my eyes, my trip was rich and thought provoking. I saw conflicts between people of different race and religions that was rooted thousands of years ago, and clashes of ideologies still being formed today. In addition to the magnificent sites and the interesting people I met along the way, I saw the world in layers of new perspective gained from the collection of my new experiences.
At the surface of Berlin, I was initially disappointed at the insignificant differences between the former East and West Berlin. Where the menacing Wall once ran, a path of cobblestones lay in its place. No man’s land is now populated by trendy boutiques and cafes. Soviet style GDR life was reduced to a romantic tale in the DDR museum, through Trabi tours and communist memorabilia. But when I dug deeper, I caught a glimpse of the “wall in the head“ that still exists 20 years after the Fall of the Wall and Germany reunification. This Wall was not just a social division between the former East and the West residents, but it was also a wall that separated a socialist utopian dream from a cruel capitalist reality. This wall also stands in the way of the acknowledgement of Germany history from the establishment of a German future. But the reality is, this Wall of separation has created a unified identity.
In Berlin I also found delightful surprises. The nightlife pulled me away from sleep to techno clubs and beach bars much more often than I anticipated. Daily transportation on the metro system of the U-bahn and S-bahn gave me a peak into the daily lives of Berliners. Youth culture was always prominent on the streets after 10 PM, and I’ve learned to enjoy beer. I came into contact with the Roma women and children of Berlin, and now I am curious. Lastly, I’ve found that German food does not appeal to me, but Döner kebab is on the list of the top culinary discoveries in my life.
I think many of us fell in love with Istanbul soon after arriving. Was it the beautiful mosques? The exotic environment? The hospitality? The food must have had something to do with it as well. I certainly did not know what to expect. Looking past surface of this intriguing eastern orient, we were exposed for a brief moment to the identity crises also apparent in Turkey.
Istanbul is not without Walls, in fact no city is. The rising division between the rich and the poor, the demolition of Gecekondus and the establishment of uniform high rises. All these social changes to meet the demands of a globalizing city seem oddly similar to the gentrification process in Berlin. These themes of identity struggle transgress borders and are present in every society. The desire of Turkey is to belong to the European Union, and to live a Western lifestyle, but it cannot shake the Eastern identity that is prominent in the walls of its mosques, the hospitality of its people and the history on its land.
I took the themes and perspectives gained from studying in Berlin and Istanbul with me for the rest of my travels: East and West, walls and borders, personal identity, national identity and unspoken conflicts.
To visit the Middle East after a few days in Northern Europe was a drastic change. Although located in the center of Middle Eastern countries, Israel and its neighbors considers it a Western State. It is a young country formed by an ancient population on a piece of land with history that marked the beginning of time after Christ.
Israel is defined by walls. After millions of years of persecution, fueled by the events of the Holocaust, the Jewish people re-established their place in the Holy Land and built a wall of enemies on three of its four sides. Divided by religious and ethnic affiliation in such a small proximity of Israel, people of the same land redefined themselves.
Their identities are defined through a combination of ethnic, religious and ideological associations: Orthodox Jew, non-religious Jew, and Russian Jew with a Russian mother and Jewish father who see herself as a Jew, but legally is not according to the rules of the religion.
Their identities are defined by the level of Israel citizenship: a Jewish citizen of Israel is required to serve the Jewish army, but a Muslim or Arabic citizen is not.
Their identity is defined by who they are not: Palestinians are not Lebanese, Syrian, Jordanian or Egyptian.
Their identity also transcends pre-established borders: Muslim Arabs, Christian Arabs, Jewish Arabs. Muslim Jew, Christian Jew, Jewish Jew.
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As an atheist living in secular Western system that denounces discrimination at any level of identity, it is difficult for my relatively inexperienced mind to wrap around the existence of such a complicated place such as Israel. Everyone wants a piece of the dry barren hills of Jerusalem and its walls.
The Holy City itself is nothing but walls. The walls of Jerusalem is cut into four quarters of Christian, Jewish, Muslim and Armenian territories. The West Wall is defined by what is speculated to have stood behind the wall thousands of years ago, the Second Temple. And though it is meant to be a place where people come together to wish for a better future, the West Wall itself is divided by a wall between the genders.
There is a very unimpressive wall around the West Bank that has major precautions it was accidentally crossed. It can be seen from the major freeways that extend north to south and separates the Israeli citizens from the Palestinian Islamic extremists that wish for the end of Israel. There is a wall around Gaza for very much the same reasons.
Where Germany left off, Israel filled in the holes of my very incomplete and very naive picture of the world. The more I see, the more questions I have and the less certain I am about my rationality, the basis of how I form my thoughts and my understanding of the world. One thing I’ve learned is that there is no certainty. History is written by the winners and people get left behind when their histories are not told. Walls cannot organize the world and tuck differences into neat little categories. Walls inflict divisions. Walls create identity. Walls define its nation.
Here I am now, back in the sterilized serenity of Seattle, reflecting on my trip, confused and lost as ever.
While there were many walls on the trip, they managed to remove the ones in my head. My thoughts are now a jumble of cultures, religions and histories and I haven't been able to erect my walls back up again to logically sort it out. So though my thoughts are scattered and disorganized, and my writing resembles my jumbled state of mind, my heart is content, because this trip has opened my eyes. Right now I see a world of confusion, but I am not worried because this is only the beginning of my journey.
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